Writings

It has been 5 months that I have had the honor of my Blog.

In this time I have had ample time to post something creative and witty and up to now, have posted nothing. So here goes a sample of the writing wit or lack of “the creative style of Donna Hamer”

February 9th, 2003-3:20am-(going back awhile)

First this is not a journal-it is a bound collection of blank, lined paper -(excuse me while I type exactly what is handwritten from my book I wrote) It has a hard cover, designating that it will last a long time. After a good long time, hopefully I will be able to fill the thing up with all creative spirit writing for a very long time.

Even when my mind is blank I am sincerely hoping to add a small paragraph or 2. This hard cover book of blank, lined paper has no name yet! I’ll think of one just like my first small book-BANANA MAN (got burned when I was 13 years old-Long story, I’ll get back to it some day) I am exhausted right now, it is Saturday and I plan on getting myself  to church in the am. Do my soul some good.

February 10th-10:30am

my soul is just fine for now-(decided to omit this particular chapter, as I would have to chop the thing to bits to edit it..) Just must meantion the level of frustration and anxiety I am feeling are critically high. That I am so used to putting on my joy face, there is nothing wrong face! Donna is so used to looking after everyone else, and her life is fine (but her entire world just collapsed around her) About 6:30 this evening I finally broke it all down and started weeping. There is everything wrong.

February 11th-1:10am

I was rambling on about Stupid Folk, (this compilation of mine is not for writing about stupid folk) maybe ordinary, but not for stupid.. Made my point. I am Frustrated. Maybe because I have no control. Lots of choices, JUST NO CONTROL …. I really miss Donnie T Man (Don the Man) Donnie Thee Man.. Don the Man in my life, Don the Man who shared the exact same birthday as I do. Donnie my man, who came into my life at 40 years old and loved me with all of his heart for its own sake. I miss him more now because we were just becomming closer and together. Except your head hurt so much. I could do nothing except ask “are you going to be alright?” and the answer was always the same. “Please don’t worry honey, I am going to be fine.”  Obviously NOT..You turned from my 46 year old boyfriend into a 4 year old, in less than an hour after I called your boss to let him know you would not be in to work. (you never missed a day of work!) I was so scared.

At first, on the ride to the hospital in the ambulance, the diagnosis was heart failure, however, upon arrival it was decided to do tests. Donnie was very much breathing, but 3/4 of an hour later I was meeting with the nuerologist, and he stated that Don had a massive brain hemorage.  This hemorage had rendered Don brain dead. (The pressure of the berry aneurysm had destroyed the left hemisphere of Don’s brain) The clinical definition would be no more cognitive signals to the brain. No more recognition, no ability to talk, to walk, to learn, only the higher life functions of the brain were firing. My instructions were to have him cremated immediately. No family to be notified, no phone calls!! ABSOLUTELY NO SERVICE   Don’s Memorial service was held at NW Calgary on January 31/03  There is a speech prepared that is available..     His co-workers were there, his best friend and his wife,  his father, his sister and brother and their families,  his little girl was there, and myself , and my son,  and our friend attended his service. He was such a blessed man with a lot of people who truly cared deeply for Don..     We were together since 1997.

I wanted to publish my final chapter on my blog but I have no idea whether anyone wants to read chapter 1. ….So here be it, a concerted effort to publish a bit of my book, and show off a bit of my writing.

let me know what ya think..

dh Feb25/09